I’ve been thinking about all the adjectives that have been used to describe me — some to my face but I’m sure many more behind my back. The thing is — most of these are wrong. Some introverts may be some of these things some of the time. But we are rarely always or only these things:
shy
loner
rude
arrogant
inhibited
quiet
self-conscious
bashful
timid
reserved
apprehensive
mysterious
distrustful
cautious
solitary
reclusive
unsocial
guarded
passive
unconfident
isolated
The one quality on this list I’ve actually cultivated a bit is “mysterious.” This may sound harsh, but I kind of use this as a test for people. If they really want to know me and want to work a bit to figure out the mystery, I’m more inclined to think about them as being a close friend. If they aren’t that interested in trying to figure me out, I keep the relationship on a different level. It kind of just helps me to stay “me.”
May 27, 2007 at 6:58 pm
maybe personality types should wear signs (i mean this jokingly) but honestly quite a lot of angst can be caused by personality mismatches. i have realised that i am an extrovert with far too many introverted friends. They like to meet for dinner every couple of months for approximately one hour, they go home immediately after. Now an then they’ll meet for a coffee, strictly one on one. Being an extrovert i know lots of people, there are often work or other social events to go to, unfortunately the people i considered to be “close friends” are introverts. Knowing too many introverts is how an extrovert can have friends and still feel lonely.
When people are difficult to get to know and seemingly fail to reciprocate it is sometimes best just to give up.